Weekend ish thing.

This weekend was a little rough.  The b2bpc sort of fell apart, which saddened me greatly. Some dear friends in the group made poor choices that the rest of us had a hard time dealing with, especially me. But after tears and apologies, all is well. I'm so glad that even when things get really hard, we're all still there for each other, and all can be forgiven. I truly love you all.

I was supposed to DJ for a dance at my church on saturday, but the guy who normally does it showed up and relieved me of my duties. I was pretty upset. I spent hours of my time putting together a playlist of great music that was church dance appropriate and that kids love. I felt like I'd put in all this effort for nothing. I ended up staying at the dance and hanging out with some friends, and watching my dad and his date in action, so it was alright. Seeing my dad having so much fun made me real happy. He needs more days like that.

Also, my mom and I had a talk this week. It didn't go very well. I listened to her talk for most of the hour and a half I was with her. I didn't argue, or try and correct her when she said something I disagreed with. I just didn't say anything. A lot of things were said that greatly hurt my feelings. I feel as though the relationship we'd once had is completely gone. I miss my mom. My real mom. And how things were about 3 or 4 years ago. I feel like the more she tries to talk to me about everything, the less I feel like this is my mom. I feel like she's someone else's almost. I miss my momma. I've decided that despite everything, I'm just going to keep treating her, and caring for her, the way I have as long as I can remember. I love her so much. And even though things seem to keep getting worse, I'm going to always love her, and visit her, and do things with her like I always have. Kind of like I'm pretending nothing has happened, except that I know they did, and I'm just letting it go. [Not too sure how much of a difference from pretending that really is, but I'm trying!]

Sunday was by far my best day this week. It usually is. I had the opportunity to teach our gospel doctrines class at church for the investigators and new members of the church. I believe I'm teaching next week as well. I think it will be fun. I spent the afternoon reading The Peacegiver, napping, coming to terms with the b2bpc, and then all evening at the Showalters home for dinner, games, and friends. To make the evening even better, when I returned home my brother and I snuggled up on the couch and watched the movie Enchanted on t.v. together. I love being able to spend time with him like that. Michael has always felt like he was my little boy, and not my little brother. Steve[Rachael] and I stayed up a good portion of the night watching season 2 of Gossip Girl after Michael went to bed. I love spending time with her as well. Steve is a wonderful girl, and a great friend. I love you Steve!

Today I got to spend my entire afternoon making origami butterflies and hanging out with Bryan. That was the first time we have ever hung out, just the two of us, EVER. It was nice. We talked about family stuff, what he wants to do, we read scriptures, had lunch. It was just lovely. I have very much so enjoyed the friendship that we've shared through our letters while he was away. I'm hoping now that he is home from serving a mission that we can become really great friends.

Although the weekend started out not so good, it ended very nicely. I'm glad that even though things get hard sometimes, that there is always a positive to everything. The outcome will always end up good. I know that with all my heart. We just have to be patient enough to wait out the storm. <3